Well, if the honeymoon is over, and I’m not even married yet, what is there to look forward to? Apparently quite a bit.
It has been a while since I have posted anything out here. I am sorry for leaving you in the dark, yet happy that you were able to get a little break. Here, it has not been the case. The breaks are few, and often not enough. Today is my day off, and after a mere fourteen hours of sleep, I feel almost caught up. Today I am grateful for the mild rain that rhythmically pounced upon the metal roof keeping me fast asleep and drowning out the sounds of the children on their first day back to school.
I did have a realization the other day. The honeymoon is over, and now I am here working. The daily adventure is….not gone…..but I suspect hiding, really well. Do you remember that hiding spot you had in the house growing up? The one that you could always rely on and only told to one other person; but then they might have betrayed you and began to bring others to your hiding spot.
Yes, well, “adventure” is in a better hiding spot right now. That is somewhere in my mind. “The Labyrinth of Misfortune”, is how I feel about this hiding spot sometimes. I have not woken up to listen to the children singing in a very long time; mostly because that is at 6 AM. I walk into the clinic praying for a slow day, instead of praising God for any circumstances He provides that day.
One morning, I was sitting in the Piat (house the missionaries eat in). It had been a rough week or so, only five missionaries, the children were in their second week of holiday school, and I was tired. I noticed a new photo with some scripture written below. It was a picture of a bunch of the orphans, with Matthew 9:37 at the bottom, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few”. Well, it’s 123 orphans vs 5 missionaries, ain’t that the truth.
So, how do I get this back? How do I rekindle the love? I don’t feel a few nights of slow dancing will do the trick, but perhaps paying better attention to Sudan, acknowledging the good things that have not vanished from consciousness, and seeking. Seeking what? I don’t know, but I know where to begin, Our Lord.
So, here is the plan. First, seek God. Spend time in prayer and spend time just being patient. It is busy here, but I can spare time every day to simply sit back, or bow down, and listen. Second, do not retreat. I will not run back to my guest house and avoid the children. I will continue to spend time with them doing my best to be a good witness. Thirdly, I will serve. My role here is to focus on the clinic, but every aspect of the orphanage and the school influences the clinic and vice versa. When those areas are in need of help, then I will ask to see where I can be of assistance. Next, I will sleep, because we all need rest. Finally, I will open my eyes. I will take my camera more places, stop and just watch, make sure I am outside for the sunset if the sunrise is too early, sit under the stars at night, and enjoy my time here because it is almost over.
Thank you all for praying for me, for the children, for Sudan, and even for your own requests. Please continue to seek, and if you feel you know where to go, stop and join the others who do not, and begin with God.
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